


The Baby Maker

by spazgardian



Series: In Another Li(ves)fe [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Borderlands fusion, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Derek is a commando, M/M, Pandora is a crazy place, Stiles is a mechromancer, The girls are all sirens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-26
Updated: 2014-06-26
Packaged: 2018-02-06 08:30:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1851397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spazgardian/pseuds/spazgardian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek can't use his words, so he'll get Stiles suggestively named guns instead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Baby Maker

**Author's Note:**

> Borderlands is a crazily fun FPS game. It is zany and hilarious and has so many pop culture references and I highly encourage everyone to find a friend and play it, because co-op makes it so much more fun. 
> 
> First part in a series of unrelated ficlets where I fuse every TV show, book series, movie, and game I have ever liked together.

Stiles is tinkering away at Deathtrap when Derek gets back, banging away at the contraption in a way that’s equal parts glum and annoyed. He had been working on the robot when Derek had left and it must have been fixed by now, so Derek can only imagine that he’s installing some kind of anti-Derek flame thrower onto it. Derek promptly turns and leaves to find ways to stall; he takes his time injecting a med hypo and hunts down Erica and Boyd for status updates, glaring at their judgmental looks.

“Lydia is still working on hacking around the fast travel system. More importantly, she says if you don’t go and fix things with Stiles soon she’ll take you back to Liar’s Berg and you can spend the rest of your days helping Finstock with his bullymong research,” Erica relays, smirking her blood red lips and tossing her blond hair over her shoulder. “Nice SMG.” 

Derek can stare down threshers, varkids, and goliaths without so much a flinch, but he is in no way foolish enough to upset a siren. Especially the siren that has access to nearly all network capabilities on Pandora. For all her attitude suggests Lydia has a soft spot for Stiles for some bizarre reason and Derek wouldn't put it past her to teleport him onto a different planet just to spite him.

And, angry sirens aside, he’d rather have a bodyguard robot on his ass than Finstock. The last time Finstock had employed them Derek had been thrown off a boat by a bullymong riding midget. Erica had thought it was hilarious and Stiles still calls him the bullymong matador to this day.

But even when Derek bucks up and approaches Stiles he seems to be quite intent on ignoring him. Stiles instead chooses to carry on a conversation with the deactivated robot, a long winded rant about “stupid commandos with their fancy turrets that can’t give a little bit of respect and thanks to the Deathtraps and their makers that save their butts. Instead they have to be all ‘Stiles you fuckwit if you didn't go shooting your gun like a kid with a water pistol you wouldn't run out of ammo all the time and we wouldn't have to risk the mission to save your ass,’ and I’ll have you know mine is a fine ass. 10 out of 10 would tap again, they say, or they’d be saying if they tapped in the first place. Give a guy a shotgun and suddenly everyone owes him the world, jackass. I’m telling you now boy, you have my full permission to never save him again.”

Maybe Derek had been a little unnecessarily harsh.

“Stiles,” Derek grunts, hands stuffed deep in his pockets to keep from fidgeting like a kid. “Stiles look at me.”

Stiles throws down his wrench with extra force to make it clang loudly and activates the robot. The gears in Deathtrap whir to life as the hunk of metal hovers into the air, immediately turning towards Derek and looking more threatening than a faceless machine has any right to. “What do you want? I thought breathing the same air as me hurt your brain.”

“Dammit, Stiles, just…” Derek sighs. “I can’t count on my fingers how many times you've been close to getting killed because-”

“Please, everyone in this group has bounties on their heads for at least one million, just stepping outside is inviting a bullet to the brain!”

“This isn't about our enemies, this is about you doing something unnecessarily foolish that puts you in danger! You’re like a goddamn grenade that wasn't thrown far enough- which is something you've done on multiple occasions.”

“So my aim sucks, not all of us can be perfect war heroes. I didn’t even know how to shoot a gun properly until last week, I think for a ‘kid’ that was participating in science fairs two months ago I do pretty well for myself. And you said the other day, Deathtrap was the only reason we got out of Sawtooth alive!”

“Deathtrap can’t save you every time.”

“I can take care of myself, I don’t need you nagging me like I’m a child.”

“And I can’t let you die on my watch!”

Stiles shuts his mouth and looks odd, thoughtful. Derek’s cheeks flush with color, and trying to dissuade from any more conversation, he pulls out the [SMG](http://borderlands.wikia.com/wiki/Baby_Maker) strapped to him and hands it to Stiles. “Here.”

“What-”

“Just take it.”

Eyeing the gun like it’s about to go off (coincidentally, it’s a valid concern), Stiles takes it gingerly and starts turning it over in his hands to inspect it. Seconds later his eyes go wide and his face lights up, the first grin Derek’s seen on him all day spreading on his lips. “Holy shit, this is, dude this has to be legendary class, this is amazing!” Stiles launches into a babbling review of the SMG and all its parts and then flings the damn thing into the distance before Derek can stop him, cackling with glee as the air fills with dozens of mini-guns that all explode and set a flock of raks scattering into a panicked craze. Deathtrap takes care of the creatures with its laser beams as Stiles turns back to Derek, smile huge and wide as the gun redigitizes back into his hands, and it’s so endearing that Derek nearly has to bite through his lip to keep from smiling. “This is _sick_. And you want to give it to me? I mean you don’t have a choice now, no way in hell am I giving this back, but-”

“I thought it might help with your ammo problem,” Derek cuts in, face burning red. “Just- don’t drop it and blow yourself up.”

Stiles is totally going to drop it and blow himself up, what was Derek _thinking_. He’s the biggest idiot on Pandora. Derek turns on his heel to stalk off and hide from the lecture Lydia will no doubt give him but Stiles, being Stiles, just follows him. “Dude, of course, I’m not that clumsy, but come on, you have to tell me how you got this. Please tell me it was a bullymong, I need that image in my head for the rest of forever. And let me tell you I’d be so sexually attracted to you if that’s the case, I am down for favors of the naughty kind if you wanted me to repay you, just to let you know. That’s all I can really do if you want me to repay you, kinda broke over here.”

“ _Stiles_.” Derek is horrified and not any amounts of intrigued. He’s pretty sure that damn robot can’t take jokes and would not hesitate to gut him for even looking at Stiles considerately. 

“What, too much?”

“Just. Go get your stuff, be ready for when Lydia gets the system running again.”

“You’re deflecting.” He says it incredulously at first, but when Derek doesn't respond he says with more confidence, “You like me.”

“Shut up Stiles.”

“You hunted down a super rare gun for me. You _like_ me, you _care_ about me!”

“I care about not getting one of your bullets in my ass!” Derek’s shouting, unnecessarily, and burning red. He’s going to make a very hasty retreat that is not running away, nothing like that, when Stiles grabs his arm.

“Derek, wait.”

Derek stops, because he was a soldier once and they trained him well, and Stiles tugs forcefully until Derek turns his head and then suddenly there’s a mouth on him, warm and sweet and so quick he only has time to process _oh, the robot hasn't killed me yet._

Stiles’ grin is slightly manic, for all that it’s sweet. “I care about your ass too, dude.”

 

 

Erica’s howling laughter when they find out that Derek gave Stiles a gun called 'Baby Maker' almost makes Derek regret every decision in his life. But only almost.

**Author's Note:**

> The [bullymong riding midget](http://borderlands.wikia.com/wiki/Midge-Mong) is a thing. I hope these are doing a good job of convincing you to play this wonderful game.
> 
> Come say hi at [teen-hulk!](http://teen-hulk.tumblr.com/)


End file.
